My Brain Mapping Results Are In and…… Ummm…. What Was I Talking About?

The last thing I expected the scientist at The Brain Enhancement Institute to say to me when I walked in the door to get the Report of Findings (ROP) from my brain-mapping was “You have a problem with your gut and you need to take care of it.”

“Huh?”

Dr. Cripe then pushed over a file containing the ROP and on the first page was a series of pictures showing my own personal brain functioning. The first 5 slides showed a tremendous amount of over-activity in some part of my brain that was trying to compensate for some inadequacies in said belly. Whoulda thunk? ( Just an FYI, I did go on to have some additional tests taken at my Physician’s office and as it turns out, I did have a chronic condition which is now being treated and this little brain-mapping episode may very well have saved me from years and years of physical discomfort as well as later more long-term debilitating problems.) But, that was just the first of some very telling and interesting discoveries.

As it turns out, they were able to see with this cutting edge technology that some of my Executive Functions are compromised.  Same goes for my Memory, Communication, Regulation and Compulsive/Addiction Behavior Indexes. And here all along I thought I had developed (or, as they would say “adapted”) ways of hiding what I considered to be these defects. For instance, they could see I am challenged by planning, impulse control, distractibility and that I have difficulty following directions. That I can be disorganized and forgetful. That I have a compulsive drive that is both genetic and environmental. That I worry and sometimes over-react. That I am very sensitive and will use avoidance behavior under stress. Admittedly, all of the above is true. I know you’re thinking – “wow, what a piece of work!” but the truth is many people are in a similar situation. Whether due to trauma or head injuries or drug and/or alcohol abuse – our brains just aren’t what they once were and life has gotten a little (or a lot) harder. What’s cool though is that I don’t have to live this way forever; and, neither do you. I have spent so much time in my life – especially since I get sober over a decade ago, finding ways to compensate for these “deficiencies”. I take a lot of notes – I write things down (though I don’t always remember to read what I wrote down or even where I wrote it). I hold onto peoples words and take a mental picture of the actual letters in the words so that I will not forget what they said. I set alerts for myself and reminders on my phone so I don’t forget appointments. I try to create patterns and consistencies of actions so that I will remember what I am supposed to do. These things do work, to a point, but it can be exhausting. The added energy it takes to program and remind and fret over can, at times, seem unbearable or even not worth it. I had to laugh out loud when they showed me the score of my IQ under stress. My numbers are so low under stress that it is a wonder I am not extinct. Almost uneducatable. About as smart as a box of hair. And it all made sense when they were going over these statistics with me! How I can completely lose my ability to formulate words sometimes at the end of a high stress day. Like the trigger that pulls the thinking into speaking is broken and there is just a big cloud of white smoke upstairs with not a lot of anything else happening.

I did not feel badly hearing all of this information; rather, I felt relieved. It was as if how I have been feeling all these years was validated – like there is a reason for how I have been feeling and it isn’t just some weakness on my part that cannot be altered. Thank science for remediation! That’s right – there is a way to retrain and rebuild and rework my brain so that it functions at the highest level it is capable of. (They also showed me how high my IQ is currently when not under stress and the level to which it is capable of reaching upon completion of a few months of remediation- dig it).

Upon finishing going over the Report of Findings, the good doctor set me up with a series of exercises to do at ONE80CENTER on the computer which are going to retrain my brain. I am guaranteed that if I do the work, I will get better. My memory will improve, I will be clear thinking again, people and things around me will seem to work better. I will be smart again.

Recovery is such a beautiful and awesome undertaking. It is both courageous and rewarding. I see this opportunity to participate in brain-mapping as an example of what a remarkable time it is to be alive. We can in fact recover our whole selves. That this technology exists and it is available is so promising, it is difficult to contain one’s enthusiasm. I hope that one day every addict or alcoholic is introduced to this. For some, it will be the next level of recovery – for others it will be the first thing that finally made the difference they needed just to stay sober one day at a time.